Made it 11 Days...Wooh Whoo

I made it 11 DPO before she arrived. Yippee.  I just re-read my last blog and realize I need to put the themometers away and go from there. 

I have been stressed to the max lately.  And upset and a little confused, I guess.  The other day I posted my FB status as "Bitter".  I got a few good responses to not let bitterness take a hold of me and yada yada yada. But why am I bitter?  My 20 year old classmate excitedly told me she was 8 weeks pregnant. It took me a few minutes to congratulate her.  I honestly didn't feel congrats were in order.  Talk about bitter. But what can I do, really?  Not much. 

Now I have a sister in law planning her wedding. No date set yet. Supposed to be a cruise.  Will we go?  Most of me really would like to go. But the rest of me really hopes I am too pregnant or just had a baby for that to happen. However, we will plan for this, and maybe that will be the infertility cure. Pay for a cruise and WHAM-O pregnant. I know, I heard it happened to that girls' sister's best friend's mom's boyfriends' daughter who tried 11 whole months to get pregnant and the moment they planned a big trip, well, you know the story.

The stress is not only from TTC, but school, work and home need to be balanced better.  I think I took the right step today and dropped one of my 3 classes this semester.  I felt a huge releif as soon as I hit the button.  Part of me (of course) is worried that I have now "failed".  Last semester I handled it well. This semester I tried to make my school schedule more conducive to working, so I was going to school Mondays and Wednesdays from 10:00-11:20 and Tuesday nights 7p-10.  But on Mondays and Wednesdays I may work 12:30-8:30, so it makes for a long day.  I know others do it and some even have kids at home.  However, I am still learning how to be that woman.  It is someone I desperately want to be.

This week I have a goal: to call and make an appointment! The referral was sent in October. I am ready to be pregnant.